The End of Innocence
by Alfonso (Y5B, 2007-08)
If I had not told her all those lies she would not have left me. If I had been brave enough to tell her all the truth I would have kept a friend forever.
I sent her a letter trying to explain. I told her that there were many years of poisoning myself with fairy tales, with "happily ever afters" that always failed, that I was not raised to stand for loneliness, but on the idea that happiness is only possible with someone by your side, never on your own, that it is not easy to unlearn so many years of wrong convictions and that that is why I was not able to say words which could have disillusioned her in those evenings which always seemed brief in our favourite bar or while we watched movies, side by side, that I was a complete procrastinator. If I could turn back time things wouldn't be the same.
Maybe all these words were just rubbish, a desperate way of justifying mistakes, supposing that preferring lying to being alone – and honest - was only a mistake and not a serious moral error. It was true that I did not mean to hurt her, but probably it is more true that I did not appreciate her much.
Four days later the letter was returned to its sender, stamped "Refused."