Speaking about sb you love, by Felipe (NI2)- Students' Oral Performances with Teacher's feedback - Speaking
Speak about someone you love, by Felipe (Intermedio 2)
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at the Talking People Podcast
Speaking Task: Speak about sb you love - two minutes
Felipe has done a great job in this speaking task! Congratulations! No mistakes in verbs or in the vocabulary. And the picture he makes of his friend and their friendship is wonderful.
There are two things Felipe can improve: develop a correct use of connectors -- in terms of register or the type of text one is creating; and organize the content more traditionally -- in our culture the physical comes first, then the occupation, then the hobbies, so to speak. About connectors: some are too formal for this kind of text, and therefore sound funny (raro). Some moreover's are not the best option because of the kind of thing you are "adding". Notice which I crossed out and which I didn't.
One thing you all should not do is start a paragraph, a new point, with a pronoun, so that's why the name "Alberto" comes up at the beginning of each paragraph in my correction. As compared to Spanish, English is OK with repetitions. However, it is true that starting more than two paragraphs with the same thing is kind of boring, so think about this: how would you improve my correction? Felipe, if you record a second version after reading this, please send it! Notice how I created the paragraphs, and compare this anyway with my version below this one, where I group the information in a different way. Tell me what you think, Felipe and company!
| Transcript of the talk with corrections in bold and crossed out things in italics |
(Culturally) Re-organized content physical presentation of character -- personality -- occupation (school), skills -- leisure, shared activities -- ending |
|---|---|
Hello. I'm Felipe and I'm going to speak about my friend Alberto. (He) Alberto is 17 years old and he's studying Science. He's in second grade of Upper Secondary, in the same high school as me. He would like to study Architecture, because he draws very well (and besides?). He speaks English and French very fluently. Physically, (According to?) About his personality, he's very creative /kriéitiv/ and great fun, but sometimes he can be a bit stubborn, so maybe he should change that [ (In addition?) He has been playing tennis since he was eight years old, so he's very good at tennis. Alberto, I and our friends meet to play (a?) paddle tennis once a month and we have great fun together. Besides, every weekend we go out with our friends to the cinema, or we play cards, and (we go to some parties?) every now and then we go to parties. So we have great fun. (In conclusion?) Well, Alberto is my (VERY) best friend because he's loyal and reliable. |
Hello. I'm Felipe and I'm going to speak about my friend Alberto. Alberto is 17 years old. Physically, he's medium height, and he has got pale skin and dark hair. He used to wear glasses but now he doesn't. About his personality, he's very creative and great fun, but sometimes he can be a bit stubborn, so maybe he should change that. He loves animals, especially dogs, and he would like to have a dog, but his mum doesn't let him have one, so he has settled for a hamster. The hamster's called Cristiano because he has a bit of spiky hair on the top of his head! It's very funny. Alberto is's studying Science. He's in second grade of Upper Secondary, in the same high school as me. He would like to study Architecture, because he draws very well. He speaks English and French very fluently! He has been playing tennis since he was eight years old, so he's very good at tennis, too. Alberto, I and our friends meet to play paddle tennis once a month and we have great fun together. Besides, every weekend we go out with our friends to the cinema, or we play cards, and every now and then we go to parties. So we have great fun. Well, Alberto is my best friend because he's loyal and reliable. And -- that's all! |
= varied tenses!